drive-in movies, birthdays, & fishing

This week has been jam-packed with craziness! We started out this week with a huge trip to Costco. Jenna and I just laughed at how much stuff we tried to fit in our one cart before the store had closed. We looked like we were feeding an army--but I guess when you're feeding 6 girls and 3 neighbor boys that's pretty much the same thing. 

On Thursday night we went to the drive-in movie in Mt. Pleasant. I went with my roommates and Tarryn, and let me tell ya- I don't know how but we managed to squish all 6 of us in one car! We watched Jumanji and had such a fun night. We were all pretty comfy, for being packed like sardines.

To end the week, Bella woke me up to join her and our friends Spencer, Bunker, and Emily to go fishing. I was surprised that I was able to get up at 5:45 and feel pretty awake. Bella was surprised I was able to laugh that early in the morning! We all were able to catch a fish, except Spence since he was busy helping the rest of us that night.

After fishing for a few hours, we met up with some of our other friends including Dane and Jenna. We all went on some razor rides, and came back for a BBQ lunch and games. We had so much fun playing cornhole until we left.

Last night after work, I joined my girls up the canyon for Autumn's birthday photo shoot. It was so fun to take pictures and celebrate Aut being the big 2-0. I couldn't imagine a better way to celebrate one of my favorite girls. We celebrated with a big Wingers dinner the night before and laughing in the canyon was an end to a great week. I'm so grateful for the happiness that I've found these past few weeks. I'm so happy for my roommates and their example of relaxing and having fun. I honestly could not have asked for better friends.

shooting & dan + shay

This week was another fun week! To start off, we went shooting for our first FHE activity. One of the counselors in the Bishopric has some property in Manti that we could use. It was so fun for all of us to learn how to shoot clay pigeons with a shotgun. We loved every minute of the activity!

The highlight of this week has to be going to see Dan + Shay perform at the State Fair. Three of us went and were joined by our neighbors Abbi and Tarryn. I also surprised Bryn that night and let her tag along. It was such a fun night! We loved the fair food, but we definitely loved Dan + Shay more. We all were screaming to their songs and dancing around the Days of '47 Rodeo grounds. It was one of the best concerts I've ever been too!

After the concert, I went home and enjoyed spending time with my family since I moved out. It was so much fun to catch up with them. I also loved going to breakfast with my grandparents that next morning. It was the boost that I needed to get through the rest of the week. I couldn't have asked for a better week. I'm also really glad I was able to spend time with Bryn and have her join us crazy girls for the night.

labor day weekend, face masks, & social media fast

This weekend was so much fun! This is definitely one of my favorite memories so far. Jenna, Aut, Bella, and I joined Jenna's family for Labor Day weekend. Her family brought down their four-wheelers and side-by-side for us to take up the canyon. I loved every minute of being with them. I couldn't help but laugh throughout the whole day.

As we drove up the canyon more, it started to get cold and rainy. We weren't very prepared for that though. Autumn and Bella shared a blanket, while Jenna and I each took a part of her dad's airport rain gear. We couldn't help laughing as we all froze together and looked like a gang of bikers.

We drove up to a lake and it was so much fun! Jen and Aut tried to fit in the rain gear together. They could barely walk and it gave all of us the giggles.

On Monday, we all met with our friends Dane and Bunker, and Dane's friend BJ joined us too. We went on another razor ride on the New Canyon road, and took a break at a lake. At the lake there was a rope swing that you could swing on and it seemed too scary for me, but everyone else had done it. After the lake and a lunch break, we went riding through some huge mud puddles. We got so dirty, but it was still one of the funnest days of my life!

On Thursday, I joined Jen and Bella at an event about social media. Last year Jenna introduced me to one of the funniest people on Instagram- Collin Kartchner. Collin began to use his social media for good, but realized that it still took a toll on the mental health of teens and young adults. His discussion inspired me to take a break from all of my social media and focus on my temporal and spiritual well-being. I'm so excited to see all the things that I can do, now that I'm not wasting time on my social media apps. I also want to see how long this social media fast can last.

To finish off the weekend, we decided to pamper ourselves with our neighbors Ethan and Davis. We had so much fun doing face masks and watching a movie together. It was exactly what I needed to end this week that was busy, but full of fun memories.

roommate photos, state fairs, & stargazing

This week was so much fun! I have never stayed out so late on multiple nights:) We decided to go get roommate photos done so that we can have photos on the wall above our couch in the apartment. Our neighbor Nolan came over and hung out with Bella and I while we were getting ready. We had some good laughs when we put Bella's hair extensions on. He looked like he really fit in with Sanpete County. When we got to the photo shoot, we were so excited. Our photographer was such a cute girl and she caught some of the best moments we had as roommates. 

After the shoot we all went back and changed our clothes before meeting up with our friends at the state fair. We watched the rodeo and had so much fun together. As we were leaving Bella and I freaked out when we saw a man holding a baby pig. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen!

 

To end our weekend.we all went up to our own little stargazing spot. We ended up being up there until almost 2 in the morning. It was a night to remember, and I am excited for the starry nights to come.

sophomore year!!

Well I have officially moved back into B8 this year and couldn't be more excited. I am hoping to find a new confidence and self-love. I was still nervous about moving in and being away from home and my resources for help, but when Autumn showed up and jumped in my arms I was so excited for what was to come. I couldn't wait to room with her and some of our other friends. 

The first day went a lot smoother than I expected. It was so fun to walk with Autumn and Bella (my new roommate). Bella and I realized very quickly that we were pretty close to the same person. It feels so good to already be so close with my roommates. We all had such a great first day.

Later this week I joined Aut and Jen for an adventure around Ephraim. We decided to take advantage of the nice weather before we were loaded with homework. We took our hammocks to the park and just had fun relaxing and laughing. Afterwards we went up the canyon and found a really cool spot that had a flat water tower. We hung out up there and danced around the tower for a bit before heading back to the apartment.

It felt so fun to be out doing things instead of feeling discouraged and bored in my room. I loved every minute of this first week and I can't wait to see what other adventures are in store for the girls of B8!

new adventures, anxieties, & learning opportunities

This summer has been one of the most difficult three months of my life. It was hard for me to think that I could go from being so happy to so joyless. I felt as though I would wake up and just exist-- with no feelings, no thoughts, no purpose. I felt like I was just hanging on to get through life. I never would've thought that I would be on a journey that led to medications and therapy. I never imagined I would suffer from anxiety and depression; yet here I was. It's hard to write my thoughts down when I don't exactly know how I feel about it still. I finally decided to get help from a doctor in June, and still I am trying to piece together everything that causes my anxiety. 

Going through anxiety and depression is a learning curve. Some days I wake up and feel like I can do anything. Other days I want to hide in my covers and do absolutely nothing. I feel unmotivated and yet my brain is going 100 miles per hour, and I begin to tell myself that I am lazy or stupid. I feel worthless. I feel like I should be doing something, or helping someone. Yet I can barely keep my own head above water. Since being on medication, I have found that I am doing better. Slowly I am getting back to the person I want to become-- my true self. 

Looking back on some of my favorite summer memories, I wish I could say that my smile was genuine. Sometimes it was! But sometimes it wasn't. Even though I am currently trudging my way through the quicksand that is anxiety and depression, I am so grateful I have supportive friends and family pulling me back up. They haven't let me sink, and they never will.