It has been a while since I have written, and the reason for that is because I have been working hard for this specific moment. This past Tuesday I received a letter explaining that I would have the opportunity to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The process just to get the letter took many months, interviews, and prayers. Everyone has to make a choice to serve, and everyone's decision making process is different. Here was what mine looked like:
JANUARY 2019: Being a missionary had always been a part of my post-high school plan. I always looked up to the missionaries that came into our homes to share messages about Jesus Christ. And I knew I wanted to do the same. What I didn't know was that a lot of mental health struggles would put my plan on hold. Once I had gotten diagnosed with depression this past January, I was convinced a mission would be completely out of the picture. I didn't think serving a mission would be a good thing for someone who struggled so badly with anxiety and depression. A mission holds a lot of unknown and the last thing I wanted was to start something I couldn't finish because I didn't think about the triggers that laid ahead. So, I decided that a mission would be out of the question.
MAY 2019: I graduated from Snow and met with my ecclesiastical leader Bishop Larsen. He wanted to visit and make sure I had a job now that I was living back home. At the end of our visit, he asked if I wanted to serve a mission. I responded "Yes," but then tried to explain that I had no idea where that response came from. But for the next few months I began to question, "Why did I say that? Is it something I need to consider? Or do I just feel like it is what I'm supposed to do?"
JULY 2019: I have prayed about a mission now for two months and had no response. I have prayed for reassurance that serving a mission would be the right choice, but nothing has come. I was getting sick of not having an answer. Doubts of my beliefs in God started to creep in. Doubts I didn't even know I had started to eat me alive. I didn't feel confident, I felt like a hypocrite. My mom became worried, and my dad offered me a priesthood blessing. Afterwards, I sat in my room and read my scriptures and found Mosiah 23:10. It says, "Nevertheless, after much tribulation, the Lord did hear my cries, and did answer my prayers, and has made me an instrument in his hands in bringing so many of you to a knowledge of his truth." After reading this I knew that I needed to continue, and hoped peace would soon follow.
I finished the paperwork in August and waited two months before the letter came. And as soon as I read "Dear Sister Wilson," I knew that this decision was right. It didn't matter where I went. I was just grateful for the struggle that allowed me to get to this point. And October 1st became the best day of my life.
I'm so grateful for the support I got this night, and for the opportunity I have to serve the people in the Hawaiian Islands. I cannot wait for January 22nd to get here so that this new adventure can start!
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